I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
