so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
