dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
