hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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