He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
