A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
from now on my penis is your penis
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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