I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
