i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
