We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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