WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
