I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
