she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
