i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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