Your dad touched me again.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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