Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
