is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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