dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
