I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
it's like iHOP with fire
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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