shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
my sisters under your porch take her home
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
