You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
It's shark week go big or go home
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
