Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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