kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
