in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
