I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
