I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
