i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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