I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Holy shit dude........stairs
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
