Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
