Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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