i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
not ubering you a puppy
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
