Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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