Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
