So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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