Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
