I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
