her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize