doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
