NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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