i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Randomize
