I puked a lego.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
