Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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