i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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