just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
