Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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