Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
