my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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