dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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