i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize