What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
