question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
