i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
