the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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