I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
