babies were throwing up all over the place
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
