Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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