I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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