We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
