Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
