Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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