Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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