My room smells like vodka and shame
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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