i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
