That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Just pee around me
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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